read by myfanwy

I worried through the entirety of my pregnancy. How, I fretted, could I bring a child into this world? How could I protect him? What did he have to look forward to but melting ice caps, tsunamis, wild fires, genocide, floods, hurricanes, drought, war, war, war, serial killers, crazed gunmen in schools, bullies, etc. Now that I am a parent, I realize I can't protect him from these things. I can only protect him from what I can control, and even then I am often left powerless.

We will do as we wish, we humans.

Ron Currie's daring, humorous, poignant, heart-wrenching, and, ultimately, joyful second novel, Everything Matters! also addresses the question of how can one bring a child into a troubled world. Most importantly, though, it follows the life of Junior, who not only knows how he will end, but knows how the world will end as well.

It is from there, his foreknowledge, that we witness the choices he makes in his life--when does he choose to give up and when does he choose to push beyond his limits. When does he choose to live and accept all of the beauty that life has to offer him even though he knows it will one day be taken away.

Yes, on the surface this is a book about mass destruction, but it's not about hopelessness. Rather, it's about what we wake up and choose to do each day--put one foot ahead of the other and move forward even though we know that one day we will cease to be. We are all brave to live, to choose to live.

Some books you read to be entertained, others to learn something, and some you read to change your life. Everything Matters! was all of these books for me. I finished it just as my two-year-old was waking up from his nap. I was crying as I picked him up from his crib, not because I was sad, but because I was so happy and grateful that he was alive in this beautiful world where everything matters.

Clearly, I have not been blogging much lately. No excuses. Just distracted by life.

Here and now, I'd like to bring your attention to the following:

1) Narrative's Spring 2009 Story Contest is on. Go and submit a story, why don't you? In other Narrative news, I've taken a bit of a sabbatical from reading subs. I still love Narrative like a brother, just need a breather.

2) Speaking of contests... the awesome Flatmancrooked is holding a contest of their own and it's a good one! Submit!

3) Just a reminder about the DZANC book creative writing sessions. A great way to receive critique and support an independent publisher.

Okay, that's it. Bye.

Two beautiful new stories at wigleaf:

Peace, by Katrina Denza

&

Swicks Rule!, by Kathy Fish

Jordan Rosenfeld has posted an awesome offer on her blog--here are the details:

I’ll ship you up to three copies with no shipping charge, at only $12/copy. They’re regularly $14.95 plus tax and shipping.

My book is good for the beginner or intermediate writer, since it offers not only refreshers on simple scene architecture, but detailed information on scene types.

To take advantage of this deal–I’ve only got 22 copies left–email me: jordansmuse (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject “Make a Scene deal” and tell me how many you want. We can work out the mailing/payment details from there.

BONUS DEAL: Add a copy of my book with Rebecca Lawton, Write Free: Attracting the Creative Life, and I’ll send you both books for $20, plus FREE shipping.

I first encountered the work of Mary Mill when I was guest editor for SmokeLong Quarterly and my friend Katrina Denza suggested I check out her writing. I did and asked her to submit for the issue. She sent us this: A Blind Dog Named Killer and a Colony of Bees.

All this is to say that before I even cracked the spine of Big World I had a feeling that I'd love reading it.

And that feeling was right on. Miller can write the hell out of a story. Most (if not all--I think there may have been one in 3rd person) of the stories within the book are written in 1st person, told from the point-of-view of a self-conscious and yet feisty female narrator. These are women who understand precisely where they are on the food chain and sometimes they like just where they are, but more often than not, they'd rather be elsewhere:

She prayed to St. Jude, she told me, the patron saint of lost and hopeless causes, and I didn't mind being lost but hopeless bothered me. Hopeless was going too far. Someone was going to have to tell her.

These women are bar flies and usually they are in bad relationships. Or these aren't women at all, they're lost little girls, wanting love, comfort, something. Whoever and whatever they are, the story that pulls together the common threads of this collection, is the gloriously painful title story, "Big World":

You want it too much, I told her. You want it so much no one's ever going to give it to you. We were tipsy and someone was dead and I was under the impression we could be honest.

They are telling the truth about all of their pain, sharing it openly, wielding it like a weapon:

I liked to say things to shock him, the truth. Like my father, he had sent me out into the big world all alone and I was going to show him how ugly it was.

You might think this book sounds bleak, but I promise it's not. It's funny and, at times, hopeful about the future. As it is rooted in a sense of reality, this book doesn't try to show us a beautiful, sugar-coated world. Does not strive to show us an optimistic and wonderful world. Instead it offers us a big, ugly, real world and even then, it's still one well worth living and surviving in.

Read this book.

It's not surprising to me that I loved Steward O'Nan's Last Night at the Lobster; he's one of my favorite writers, after all, and this books stands out for me among the many books of his I love. It's not only a book with a lot of heart; it's also a book that is timely--as 2009 is said to be the year that many in retail and service lose their jobs, the year that many malls and shops and restaurants turn out their lights for good.

On the surface it's a book about a day in the life of Manny, a Red Lobster manager whose restaurant is closing. Beneath, there is much more going on. Manny is a good guy who genuinely loves his job and tries to do well by the folks who work for him. He's far from perfect, though. His girlfriend is pregnant and he cannot commit to her. Not because he doesn't want to do the right thing, but because he loves another.

That beloved is one of his staff, a beautiful waitress, who along with a few others of the motley crew, shows up for the Lobster's last night--not because she cares about her job, but because she cares about Manny.

I'd venture to say that anyone who has ever worked minimum wage, worked service industry, worked retail, worked in a restaurant, will find themselves within this book. You will understand the frustration, the ribbing, the improbable love. You will remember customers who were a pain in the ass, the dysfunctional relationships between coworkers. You will remember the times you laughed with the odd-ball group of people who became family to you.

From a merely human standpoint, this is a book about yearning--hope for a more beautiful future, desire to relive the past. For me, it was the perfect way to spend New Year's Eve: surveying the past, living in the present, and looking forward.

Was just tagged by the most awesome Susan Henderson of Litpark.

And here are the rules...

RULE ONE, I have to grab one of the books closest to me, go to page 56, type the fifth line and the next two to five lines that follow.

The book closest to me is MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers (third edition (!!!) which tells you how long it's been since I used it. I need to get the newest edition very soon. Anyone have a copy they want to unload?). And now for the scintillating quote:

"In general, a quotation--whether a word, phrase, sentence, or more--should correspond exactly to its source in spelling, capitalization, and interior punctuation. If you change it in any way, make the alteration clear to the reader, following the rules and recommendations explained below."

RULE TWO, I have to pick five people who love books. My five picks are:

Katrina Denza
Ellen Meister
Maryanne Stahl
Susan DiPlacido
Don Capone

I read Anne Enright's The Gathering (Man Booker Prize)
slowly. I had to. If I had not, the pain would have been insurmountable. Even so, the pain was there, a dull throb.

If you have ever grieved (which we nearly all have or will at some point in our lives), then this book will speak to you. Directly, honestly. If you have ever grieved a family member, one you remembered as a child, then this book will speak to you. If your family has secrets, then this book will speak to you. If you have loved and lost, then this book will speak to you.

Basically, I can't imagine an adult who would read this book and not find some connection within. Can't imagine who would not experience a moment of "ah ha" as she read.

On the surface, it's a book about grief (a sister for her brother), but beneath there is a lifetime of grieving. Veronica has witnessed much and even that which she has not witnessed, she feels she knows. As she moves through the layers of her life, she shows us how her family fell apart, came back together, fell apart, came back together. For what else is there in a family but the pushing away and the pulling back close?

And in Veronica's large family, we are able to see our own:

There is always a drunk. There is always someone who has been interfered with, as a child. There is always a colossal success, with several houses in various countries to which no one is ever invited. There is a mysterious sister. These are just trends, of course, and, like trends they shift. Because our families contain everything and, late at night, everything makes sense. We pity our mothers, what they had to put up with in bed or in the kitchen, and we hate them or we worship them, but we always cry for them - at least I do. The imponderable pain of my mother, against which I have hardened my heart. Just one glass over the odds and I will thump the table, like the rest of them, and howl for her too.

Maybe I'm wrong and this book will make no sense to you. Even so, the writing is a glory to behold as is the story it uncovers.

Next week, on November 12th, I will go to my local immigration office for my test and interview. This is the final step to see if I will be granted the privilege of becoming an American citizen. I did not make the decision lightly to file papers to become a citizen of this country I love and now that it is so close, I am filled with a great sense of relief and joy.

And today this joy is quadrupled. But first I must get through the test and hope that Immigration believes I am a good candidate for citizenship.

One of the possible test questions I will be asked is: What is the most important right of American citizens?

This correct answer is: The right to vote

And so today I wear my Obama MAMA t-shirt, but I cannot vote. Not yet.

But my husband voted and while he filled out his ballot, I read aloud to our son from the final paragraphs of Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream (Vintage):

And in that place, I think about America and those who built it. The nation's founders, who somehow rose above petty ambitions and narrow calculations to imagine a nation unfurling across a continent. And those like Lincoln and King, who ultimately laid down their lives in the service of perfecting an imperfect union. And all the faceless, nameless men and women, slaves and soldiers and tailors and butchers, constructing lives for themselves and their children and grandchildren, brick by brick, rail by rail, calloused hand by calloused hand, to fill the landscape of our collective dreams.

It is that process I wish to be a part of.

My heart is filled with love for this country.

September 3rd was the first day that the consignment store I frequent was taking in winter clothes. I've been going there for a while now as both a consignor and a shopper. Never have I seen the place so packed. The line to drop off consignment items snaked through the store.

Ever since that day whenever they are open to take consignments (which is less frequently now--they are so overrun), you must call ahead to make sure they will still do so.

What's beautiful is that so many new people are now recycling clothes, toys, and books.

But what's got me wondering is why so many new people all of a sudden?

You don't have to be a genius to figure it out. People are desperate or have been living outside of their means or need a new way to make money. Basically, it seems that people are their either because they have been fucked by the shitty economy or are legitimately interested in recycling or both.

Whatever the reason, the fact is there are a shitload more people in my area who are now recycling and buying recycled clothes and items for their children. It's a good thing. I wore hand-me-downs and my husband wore hand-me-downs and our son will, too. He will learn that what you wear does not make who you are (Sorry, Stacy and Clinton--I do love you!).

Given these economic hard times and the hard times ahead, to read about the Palin $150,000 clothes shopping spree was shocking to say the least. I understand she is a public figure and has to look put together, but people are struggling. People are wondering how they will heat their homes. Basically, if you spend $150,000 on clothes, I would say you are woefully out of touch with what is going on in America. Not only that, you are insensitive to the struggles of working people.

Ask the folks in the line at the consignment store whether any of them have spent $295 on a onesie. Can you guess what the answer would be?